It’s The Memories After Death
One of the rare few good things that death can bring upon any of us, is the reminders and flooded flashbacks of some of the greatest, most memorable memories, that we have ever had. Death shines a spotlight on the truth of the matter which is, just how much we as the living, seem to almost fully neglect so many of the cherished memories, until the person that helped create the memories, are is no longer with us.
The hustle and bustle of everyday life seems to do that to a vast majority. It doesn’t represent any less caring, less loving, or less honored memories. It is just the purest example of taking things for granted.
I would venture to say that a good size majority of us, at some point in our lives, has probably felt at least a little bit of guilt connected to the passing of loved one.
Just because we may feel that way, doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily true. Much of the guilt might be exaggerated. We often say to ourselves, “oh if I only hadn’t argued right them right before they passed, if I only had made amends from a bad fight or situation so long ago, if I only had called them or visited a bit more often,” etc. etc.
In reality, for the most part, those type of statements we may say to ourselves really serve no purpose, other then self guilt. When it comes down to it, we so often fail to see, what is right in front of our faces; it’s something that is one of greatest, timeless gifts from God. That being memories.
What better magic, can we walk away from a loved one’s grave with then memories. Photographic visions, pictures, and movies that we can even go through, picking the most loving, beautiful ones, and smiling, or shedding a tear for someone gone, but that person, never forgotten. Truth be told, sometimes, we even enjoy memories like this, literally, every single day.
Many things can trigger memories as well. Music, going to a specific place, seeing a certain picture, hearing a specific name, or voice, the list can really go on for a long time.
I am not sitting here typing, trying to bamboozle you into thinking all memories are happy, peachy and golden. Because by no means are they all that way. Sometimes we even have very traumatic and sad. Sometimes, even professional help might be needed to sort through these types. But we have the ability and choice, to embrace everything we loved someone lost. It isn’t time to be guilty, or blame ourselves.
It’s a time to go back in time, think, and enjoy the memories that carved the beginning roads, towards a relationship of love forming.
It is not God’s intentions, for us to feel shame, or remorse, or self blame. Especially when, the death, was likely a part of fate. And it was going to happen, whether you had an argument the day before with that person or not.
Be thankful and acknowledge the blessing, that gave you the honor the love, and to be a witness to a person you found so wonderful. It’s a time to say thanks. Even better, it is now a time, to stop taking anything for granted. Enjoy who is here in your life, now.
-MICHAEL PATANELLA
